Nick Carter In Tandem

Not exactly horror fiction i realise (though The Mind Killers has potential), but the covers of the Nick Carter Tandem editions were entertaining enough to deserve a mention in dispatches.

1970, and after a century of adulthood spent in monastic celibacy, veteran crime buster and spy-catcher Nick Carter made a crucial discovery; women have other virtues beyond typing and being kidnapped on a regular basis. One instant makeover later, and sex-crazed babe-magnet Nick was going about his business with such enthusiasm that it infected even the most minor players in his adventures until they spilled over onto the covers of his 37, 000 Tandem paperbacks. Inevitably, this meant lots of dressing up in fancy costumes and it took them a while to get it right.

You can’t help but feel sorry for the bloke doing a runner. He’s got his pose spot on, the cameraman’s given him the thumbs up, he’s all set to seize the moment before cramp sets in ….. and a passing hitchhiker spots a van-load of passing peaceniks, sticks out a leg and completely ruins the shot.

Fair enough, she’s had the good grace to unbutton her shirt, but this young lady is otherwise far too unglamorously attired for a situation of this magnitude and if she’s not going to make an effort, she deserves everything that’s coming her way if you ask me. Unfortunately, that won’t be an awful lot by the looks of it as the evil boffins who scientifically programmed her captor clearly neglected to prepare for such an eventuality arising.

Miss Scruffbag could do worse than take tips from the impeccable AXE agent Tanya, heroine of The Mark Of The Costra Nostra. Tanya’s not merely a snappy dresser, either. Once she’s through showing this Mafia Suit where to get off, it’s away to help Nick escape his “inescapable death”! Actually, this may not be Tanya at all and maybe that’s Nick with his face squashed against the window? i can’t really help you because i’ve only read the blurb, but whoever she’s supposed to be, she’s OK in my book.